Jill Valentine From Resident Evil 3 Is A Bad Bitch

This post is inspired by a now deleted tweet I made a few nights ago when I was watching a Resident Evil Complete Story Summary video on YouTube. While watching this video, I recognized not only how much Jill Valentine went through at the Spencer Estate during Resident Evil, but also from the very beginning of RE3R she is harassed by Nemesis and other horrific mutations spawned by the T-Virus. Yet she survives. Why? Because Jill Valentine is a Bad Bitch.

While I play games I think I passively recognize what is happening to the characters, but I feel that Resident Evil 3 Remake really shows the human side of Jill Valentine. In the intro of the game we get to see Jill’s apartment and can see that she is very much struggling from the events at the Spencer Mansion from Resident Evil. Her living space is disheveled, she has pills all over her nightstand, pizza boxes everywhere, and a ton of beer in her fridge. She is going THROUGH it, and it doesn’t stop there.

The game takes off with a phone call from Jill’s teammate Brad Vickers, a name you will remember from the original Resident Evil. He was the helicopter pilot that left everyone in the woods when shit went sideways. Brad tells Jill to leave town right now and as she is trying to figure out what’s going on, this hulking creature called Nemesis blasts through her apartment wall and immediately tries to kill her. From that point, Jill goes through SO much…let’s look at it.

During the initial chase, Nemesis smacks, kicks, throws, chokes, and hurls slabs of concrete at Jill. Jill also falls through multiple floors, gets exploded out of a door and thrown into a hand rail, and then blasted out of another door right into a brick wall. Narrowly escaping Nemesis thanks to a partial collapse of her apartment building, Jill slowly picks herself up, wincing and limping to the street where she runs into Brad. Almost immediately, she watches Brad receive a fatal zombie bite and has to process the fact that ANOTHER of her teammates just had his death warrant signed.

Even considering the in-game joke that Jill is “supercop” and has a reputation for it, she’s gotten the shit beat out of her in the last 10 minutes and it’s not even close to being over. Brad sends her on her way ahead of him, telling her to survive. From there, she evacuates to the top of parking garage but guess who is there. You’re right! It’s Nemmy! A rescue helicopter is there waiting for Jill, but Nemmy blows it up with a rocket launcher and slowly stalks Jill. At this point, Jill has had enough and drives a car into Nemesis, knocking both of them off the roof of this building and crash landing into the ground 4-5 stories below. This does nothing, and Nemmy keeps coming…so even after driving a car off a building’s roof, Jill still has to MOVE.

Up to this point has just been the intro of the game, so for the sake of saving length, let’s bullet point a few things that happen after this:

  • Surviving and killing hundreds of civilians turned zombie.
  • Extreme athleticism running from Nemesis, who never stops chasing.
  • Witnessed a UBCS soldier get murdered by his own teammate.
  • Had some kind of mutated spider impregnate her with a parasite.
  • Wades through literal shit in the sewer to escape Nemmy.
  • Fights for her life against giant blind sewer fish-gators.
  • Gets thrown by the head onto concrete and then has to outrun a psychotic, unstoppable juggernaut with a flamethrower and rocket launcher.
  • Has the train she is riding on explode and derail, tossing her out and knocking her around.
  • Gets thrown off another building after being lit on fire.
  • More extreme athleticism running and jumping across a collapsing pedestrian bridge.
  • Gets stabbed in the arm and infected with the T-Virus after running Nemesis down for the 4th time. (Don’t worry, Carlos gets her the vaccine so she doesn’t end up living in a cruel, cold, Carlos-less world).
  • Fights for her life against very nimble and agile lizard humanoids with huge claws for hands.
  • Chased, choke slammed, and knocked around again by a very mutated Nemesis and his tentacles.
  • Watches more of her companions get murdered.
  • Participates in a colosseum type battle to bargain for the T-Virus vaccine and fights another very mutated version of Nemesis.

Finally, after all of this, she fights Nemesis, who at this point is the size of a house due to all of his mutations. Jill blows Nemesis up with a really big fucking gun and subsequently gets washed in all of his blood and guts after he explodes. Smooth escape now, right? Not a chance – Raccoon City is moments of being blown off the map by a tactical nuke so Jill and Carlos have to escape on a helicopter. Nikolai tries to stop them, so there is another scuffle where Jill is hit multiple times. The two of them overpower Nikolai and escape via helicopter, but not without almost spinning out due to the shockwave from the nuke hitting.

Reflecting on the intro to Resident Evil 3, Jill really is a supercop. When Nemesis slammed through her wall, she was ready. When I watched this scene originally, I was high as shit laying in bed in my underwear. I would have been dead dead. Nemesis would have cashed in a fat paycheck that day. All of this is to say that Jill Valentine is a bad ass (and I’ve never even really liked her as a character). She was punched, kicked, choked, slammed, thrown, exploded, set on fire, infected with a deadly virus, and experienced countless mental traumas from having to kill people, face off against terrifying and deadly creatures, and constantly feel that she is being chased by Umbrella. Not once did she stop, cry, or get frustrated, nor did she ever stop to eat, sleep (by choice), or use the restroom. This is all also on top of a budding alcohol and prescription drug problem spawned from the PTSD she has from her FIRST encounter with the Umbrella Corporation in the Spencer Estate.

I hope we see more of Jill in future installments.

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Breakfast Sushi

This morning I felt an urge of inspiration for something new and I’ve been seeing a lot of recipes on TikTok calling for variations of rice, spam, and seaweed, so I figured let’s try something in the kitchen!

My original intent was to make a recipe TikTok, but I screwed up the recording process. I also tend to season with my heart and not a recipe, so I can list the ingredients but you really just have to season to your personal preference. This makes roughly 6 rolls, maybe more. Before you start, make sure you have a sushi rolling mat!

Ingredients

Prep Time: 30 Min

Cook Time: 15 Min

Yield: Approx. 6 Rolls

  • 3 Cups Jasmin Rice
  • 6 Sheets Sea Salt-flavored Seaweed
  • 1 Can Reduced Sodium Spam
  • 3 Eggs
  • 1 Cucumber
  • 1 Bag Shredded Carrots

Seasonings & Oils

  • Sesame Oil
  • Soy Sauce
  • Rice Vinegar
  • Hoisin Sauce
  • Mayo
  • Sriracha
  • Garlic Powder
  • Ground Ginger
  • Salt

Rice

  1. Wash 3 cups of rice and cook with your preferred method (I use an Instant Pot).
  2. When rice is done, sprinkle a dash of salt and a cap full of rice vinegar, then fluff and cool.

Eggs

  1. Crack eggs into a bowl.
  2. Mix in garlic powder, soy sauce (just a little!), salt, and ground ginger.
  3. Beat until everything is mixed together.
  4. Fry your egg until the bottom is solid, then use the spatula to roll your eggs up like a towel or futon mattress.
  5. Remove from heat when eggs reach your desired consistency.

Once these two steps are completed, you just need to slice everything into long strips, brown your spam, and start making the rolls. If the rice is still too hot or very sticky, try dipping your fingers into a bowl of cool water before manipulating the rice. The cool water protects your fingers from the steam and stops the rice from binding to your skin, making it a lot easier to spread around the seaweed.

Once your rolls are done, you have the option of brushing them with sesame oil and dusting them with sesame seeds before slicing. Your choice! Then for the topping sauces, mix together sriracha and mayo and spread evenly with hoisin sauce as seen below. Enjoy!

Verdict

This meal was alright. It was flavorful and easy to make, but I over seasoned and then burnt my eggs and like I said, my rolls fell apart. It just wasn’t a vibe for me this morning. That’s okay! We don’t have to succeed every time. Hopefully you enjoyed your meal better than I did mine and next time, we can make it even better